Perhaps I should be surprised that this hasn't happened sooner... but I am actually pretty flummoxed that I don't have anything to write about for today.
In light of full disclosure, I have to say that I wrote an entire blog post this weekend... and then decided not to post it. I don't really have a super concrete reason for this, except that maybe it just felt too personal in some respects, or went into things that I just didn't think people would really care to know. Since that night, I've opened this blog several times with the intent of writing. I've even jotted possible topic ideas in the margins of notes I'm taking for other classes.
Still...
Weirdly I've got nothing for tonight. (And considering that I am one of the most over-articulating people I know and am usually pretty down for talking about myself... this might be nearly impressive.)
I'm going to list the things I thought about writing about, for lack of anything better to do. (And who knows, maybe I'll find my way back into a mindset for writing about them some other time.)
- Originating from talking about Addams in class, I was thinking about the fact that sometimes all I feel like I do (in class, in my life, etc.) is talk about abstract ideas and concepts that are, admittedly fascinating and stimulating as conversation topics... but then they never go anywhere. This could be a super interesting post in the hands of another, I'm sure. But I've been in a pretty perpetually shitty mood all week, and this is an excerpt of what I would probably end up sounding like for 1,000 plus words:
"Honestly, I'm getting really sick of all of this discussion and no action. I want to go out into the world and start being a real human being - I'm tired of being stuck in this college and talking about things that either don't actually matter, or do matter but can't actually change. I just want to drop out of college with HT and be a zookeeper!"
And then by the end of the post, embarrassingly, I'd realize that, um, it's MY fault for picking majors and classes that lend themselves to this kind of discussion and if I want to go and change things so badly, why don't I just go out and do it? (In a way hopefully more productive and feasible than dropping out of Bryn Mawr.) Then, I'd end up apologizing for being whiny and annoying (yet again) and the entire thing would end on an entirely unsatisfying note.
- Different definitions of "offensive." Maybe this is just a recurring theme in my life, but I feel like I've talked with a number of different people lately about the actual process of being offended and doing the offending. A number of things that have come out of this discussion are the feelings that 1) people at Bryn Mawr are offended entirely too easily and it gets old really fast. (Actually, I think this might be untrue - I think we just criticize it because we know it and we're living it right now... also, we go to a small, liberal arts college; we knew exactly what we were getting into.) 2) Following up with this, (as a friend sitting next to me put it perfectly) "are things inherently offensive, or is it just how people choose to take them?" And then we'd get into "context," and we'd probably talk about a friend's Facebook status I saw today that highlighted something they were upset about - it linked to a blog with a bunch of quotes by this person that, thankfully, included the original sources. While I have to admit, the guy in question wasn't as pure as the driven snow, reading the quotes in context made a lot more sense - and while it didn't absolve him of all accustaions of assholery, it made a lot more sense. This post, while probably pretty interesting (and maybe I will write it eventually?) would get too long and metaphysical and really, wouldn't end up resolving anything. It would end with me saying "Well, I just don't know," and that just seems like an unproductive waste of time, re: the previous rejected topic.
- Friendship re: MZ. This was actually maybe the most tempting... but I didn't feel right poaching someone else's thought-out blog topic. Also, then we get into complicated questions of "the self" and the fact that if I were responding to another person's "self" (a liberal use of this term, in the context of our public selves and this blog, of course) would that be a true representation of my "self," or would it be too influenced by others, or has that happened already simply by being a member of this society, where we're all so connected (via social networking, etc.) and encouraged to share our feelings... And this sentence is going too far, even for me, so I'm going to just end it there and be confident in my assumption that it would again turn into one of those awful, windy blog posts that asks a lot of questions and then doesn't resolve them and is just both a pain to read and write.
I'm sorry this is an awful post (and that it's pretty obvious that I'm also in an awful mood, although I don't have a really good reason for it so I just don't know what my deal is), but I think that my grade requires that I post something...
So here it is.
(And I just wrote a ~900 blog post about absolutely nothing... all time low or kind of impressive?)
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